Recently a series of absurd clickbait articles began circulating the internet in response to a highly controversial long term study performed by a couple Pajeets. The long and short of it is, the study defines recommended physical activity as being about 2 1/2 hours a week and claims there is increased artery calcification in white males who engage in 3 times this amount. There is an entire host of caveats and considerations baked into what is at best a very preliminary work on the long term effects of high volume exercise, but this didn’t stop sensationalist legacy news outlets from claiming that drinking IPAs and watching Rick And Morty is scientifically better than exercise. The small souled bugmen rejoiced, and another victory was scored for credulous simpletons that only read the abstract of any given scientific study.
Specifically braindead journos are trying to sell the idea that too much exercise makes white dudes develop heart disease so really you have yet another excuse to skip leg day or binge watch Netflix while grazing on a collection of soy-based processed food and drinking high fructose corn syrup from BPA infused plastic bottles. There were a few sources with enough integrity to actually parse what the study’s authors were saying in plain English, but these sites got fewer clicks and pop-up advertising for Michelob beer was completely wasted on them.
Fortunately Doctor Narcan is ready and willing to break down the nitty gritty of what Pajeet’s Honky Heart-Attack Research really establishes.
First of all, the study is looking at Coronary Artery Calcification. This is not the same exact thing as actual plaque, which is a mixture of calcium, fibrin, and cholesterol. The danger from plaque is if the formation breaks off and jams itself into a small and vital artery in the heart like the Left Anterior Descendingaffectionately called a “widowmaker” you’ll experience a lack of perfusion to the myocardium followed by some sweaty Bamberlampser declaring “He’s havin’ a STEMI!”. Between the reckless driving to the hospital and the inappropriate use of nitroglycerin, you have about a 14.88 % chance of survival. It’s been theorized for a long time that endurance athletes may have greater levels of CAC, but given the increased lumen diameter of their arteries, the stablility of the deposits themselves, and the whopping huge general decrease in mortality rates versus non-athletes, this seemed to not be a cause for concern.
This brings me to the second point, which is acknowledged and reinforced by the authors of the study itself: No attempt was made to isolate particular types of exercise and this absolutely MUST be done before any conclusions can be reached. As much as it pains me to say this, you lift-bro chads going to the gym are probably completely immune to exercise related cardiac complications. We know that exercise profiles between different activity types are vastly different, and some dude doing bench press simply isn’t getting his heart rate anywhere even close to the guy on an overpriced carbon fiber bicycle hammering up the local climb at his VO2 max. Our pajeet research team just looked overall at many types of exercise including just having a hard manual labor job. This is such an overly broad and general way to dig up correlations that it makes the next point particularly questionable:
White men being particularly prone to CAC is almost certainly due to disparate patterns of exercise, since we all know dindus aren’t out there doing much cycling, cross country skiing, and outside the same 5 Kenyans that always win the Boston Marathon, they aren’t even doing much running either. Given what we already know about the stresses of endurance training in particular, we can make a fair assumption that the cardiac findings in the Mayo study are due to greater participation of whites in endurance sports. In other words, running marathons might increase your CAC, notexercise in general.
Finally, even among the most hardcore cardio intensive, over-trained hard-man demographic, general mortality rates are still significantly better than the general population. One study that looked at Masters cyclists (70 year olds) found their hearts resembled the young 20 year old control group. Even with complications like A-fib and potential dysrhythmias, being on the extreme end of the cardio spectrum is still much better for your health and longevity than not exercising at all.
At this point you might be wondering why this study was even conducted or publicized. The answer, gentle reader, is cui bono.
Street-shitting pajeets are conducting psychological warfare against white males all in the name of restructuring the sexual marketplace in their OWN favor. With the modern white man reduced to listlessly guzzling liquid xenoestrogens and getting fatter by the minute, finally the crafty curry-negros can have all the bobs and vagene on the North American continent to themselves. With no other suitable options, a swarthy third-worlder sending a finely crafted entreaty like “ur so butiful” or “bitch lasagna” will finally have the desired affect on lonely white women who will gratefully respond to his tender words and open their bobs for all to see.
Get your ass to the gym, we can’t let the Patels win.
-By Alex McNabb